Infopackets Reader Jean Paul R. writes:

" Dear Dennis,

Please help - someone is threatening to expose me online!

I came across your site after reading an article on what to do if someone is harassing you on Instagram. To be honest, my story is very similar.

I'm a 40-year-old guy from France; last Wednesday, I matched with a curvy Thai girl on the ThaiFriendly app. At first she wanted to chat over Instagram, so I gave her my contact info and we chatted on there for a bit and exchanged a few photos. Things escalated quickly and she asked to see what I looked like, then asked me if I want to see more of her, and of course I said yes.

Next, she said we should switch to WhatsApp because she was having connection problems on Instagram. Once there, she said she needed $10 for mobile data. It felt a bit sketchy, but I figured it was only 10 bucks and I wanted to see more - what's the worst that could happen?

About ten minutes later, she came back and to my surprise she sent a short video showing my face and of me below the waist. Then, she sent screenshots of my Instagram followers and Facebook friends (including my sister), along with a demand for $200 or she would release the video to my contacts.

I panicked and paid to stop her from contacting more people. At first she told me to send money through PayPal as a 'friends and family' payment, but it wouldn't go through. So, she said I had to pay through Remitly to a place in the Philippines.

As expected, it wasn't over. As soon as she got the payment, she said her 'boss' needed to be paid too - another $300 to delete more videos. Now I realize this is never going to end and the blackmailers keep calling me nonstop from different phone numbers on WhatsApp and on my phone. They are texting threats and showing me pictures of conversations they are having with people I know with promises of imminent exposure unless I pay. I need this to stop ASAP and I'm not sure what to do!

Questions: What can I do if someone is blackmailing me on Instagram? If they message another friend/family member, do I preemptively warn them? Should I report the blackmailer to Instagram? I have their names, screenshots, and the numbers. Can I get my money back from Remitly? Should I block a blackmailer? And lastly, do blackmailers give up if you ignore them? In the mean time, I warned all my contacts not to open messages from strangers. "

My response:

I'll respond to your questions by breaking them down according to six common misconceptions about sextortion that likely led you into this situation. Note that this type of scam is also particularly common for travelers seeking special encounters while abroad - I've even documented what to do if you get sextorted while traveling in Thailand in a separate guide.

Need help now? I've worked on over 1,000+ sextortion cases since 2019 and know how to prevent your exposure and shut the blackmailers down. Contact me here for a free 15-minute phone call consultation - I'm happy to answer your questions. When you contact me, you will also receive two free reports that contain invaluable information: Five Strategies to Stall Blackmail Scammers and Not Pay Anything and Sextortion Survival Guide - Five Critical Mistakes to Avoid and What to Do Instead. These invaluable guides contain proven strategies to help you take control of the situation before it escalates.

In this article, I take a deep dive to explain the following - if you have time to read it, please do - otherwise, you can contact me for immediate assistance:

• Six Common Misconceptions about Online Sextortion
  • Paying Will Make the Problem Go Away
  • Blackmailers Delete Your Videos Once You Pay
  • If I Pay One Last Time, They'll Stop
  • Blocking the Blackmailer Makes Me Safe
  • Shutting Down Social Media Will Prevent Exposure
  • Warning All My Contacts Will Protect Me
  • Reporting the Blackmailer Will Stop Them From Exposing Me
     
• How to Deal with Blackmail and Threats
  • Do Not Pay Again Under Any Circumstances
  • Do Not Bother Trying to Get a Refund
  • Do Not Shut Down Your Social Media
  • Do Not Ignore the Blackmailers - Yet
  • Do Not Tell Your Contacts Your Account Got Hacked
  • Do Not Waste Time Reporting the Blackmailer
     
• What to Do if You're Being Blackmailed
  • How to Stop a Blackmailer
  • How to Handle Blackmail and Stop Sextortion Exposure

Six Common Misconceptions about Online Sextortion

1. Paying Will Make the Problem Go Away

Quote: "... [She] said she needed $10 for mobile data ... I figured it was only 10 bucks and I wanted to see more - what's the worst that could happen?"

Misconception: Small payment = low risk, even if they claimed it was for $10 worth of mobile data in order to continue communicating (and before they started blackmailing you).

Reality: The $10 "test payment" is a psychological trap. It's used to:

• Confirm that you're willing to pay.
   
• Link your real name or email to a financial account. Quite often the institutions you use to send the money will reveal this (and your home address) to the recipient without you realizing it.

Once you pay, the scam kicks into high gear - and it proves you're vulnerable.

2. Blackmailers Delete Your Videos Once You Pay

Quote: "I panicked and paid to stop her from contacting more people."

Misconception: Payment = resolution.

Reality: Once you pay, you're marked as compliant. The blackmail scammers will never delete the content, because they will keep milking you for more. That is how this scam goes 100% of the time - do not be fooled into thinking otherwise. There is no incentive for them to stop the blackmail threats if you're still responding and keep paying. Some blackmailers will retain your data and sell it to other groups and you may be contacted again later.

There is a better way to handle this - I can help. For example, one of the strategies I use with clients is to shift the power dynamic using a fake payment strategy - without actually sending any money - in order to break the scammer's momentum. This simple tactic not only calms the blackmailers down ASAP (because they see you tried to send money) - it also makes them hesitate to carry out their threats, since they believe they're close to getting paid.

While this is happening, I provide quick, easy-to-implement strategies you can use right away to reduce the risk of exposure - including proven steps to stop scammers from reaching your friends, family, or employer through social media and other channels. If a leak does occur, I also offer contingency plans - including logical ways to explain the situation while protecting your reputation - but only if it becomes necessary.

Interested in learning more? Contact me here. Since 2019, I've helped countless victims of sextortion, and experience makes all the difference. You can also have peace of mind knowing we are BBB A+ Accredited (24 years online) with a spotless record and not a single complaint.

3. If I Pay One Last Time, They'll Stop

Quote: "As soon as she got the [first] payment, she said her 'boss' needed to be paid too - another $300 to delete more videos. Now I realize this is never going to end."

Misconception: One more payment = closure.

Reality: Each payment tells the blackmail scammer how much you're willing to give. If you paid $200, they know you're good for more and will increase the price the next ask - quite often it's double the amount. In the past, I've had clients say they paid a one-time sum and then didn't hear anything for a few hours and thought they were free of the blackmailers. Each time I'm told this, however, I say that the blackmailers will likely resurface in the coming hours or days - and each time, I'm proven right.

On that note, many victims have asked me "Do sextortionists follow through on their threats?" and the answer varies depending on the scammer's tactics and whether you have the right strategy in place. If you're not sure what to do about sextortion, feel free to contact me - I'm happy to help.

4. Blocking the Blackmailer Makes Me Safe

Quote: "Should I block a blackmailer?"

Misconception: Blocking = protection.

Reality: Blocking only cuts off your visibility, but it comes at a price: if the blackmail scammers can't get a hold of you, they are likely to escalate their threats (and some may prove the threats are real by reaching out to people you know to prove a point).

In the beginning, blackmail sextortion scammers typically use another phone number or another account to get a hold of you if you've blocked them. In JP's case, they originally asked to chat on Instagram in order to get a look at his followers; then it moved to WhatsApp (which required JP's phone number in order to communicate through WhatsApp). In many other cases, scammers might move the conversation to different platforms like Google Chat or WhatsApp. If you're not sure what to do if someone is blackmailing you on Google Chat, I've written a detailed guide on how to deal with it; I also have a guide on how to stop blackmail on WhatsApp).

Once the scammers have your phone number they can do a reverse lookup and find your real first and last name, or they can message you directly via SMS text outside of WhatsApp should you block them. If they have your real name and phone number they can also look you up on social media and get your contacts assuming they haven't already.

The fact is: if you block the scammers, you won't know what they are up to. While blocking a blackmailer may 'get them off your back', I argue that keeping communication open (even if you're not saying anything at all) actually helps to keep tabs on what's happening. In my opinion, monitoring the situation will help you in the long run, but you will need to implement effective strategies to deter the scammers from escalating. I can help to achieve this without paying a cent to the blackmailers. Interested in learning more? Contact me here.

5. Shutting Down Social Media Will Prevent Exposure

Quote: "Do blackmailers give up if you ignore them?"

Following on the previous point (RE: what percentage of sextortionists follow through?) - if you ignore the blackmailers, they can still reach out to your friends and family, since they usually download your contact list onto their devices right at the start of the scam. In this case, one of three things may happen:

a) they will contact friends / family / followers and expose you because think you're running away (without paying them), or

b) they will take screenshots of them having conversations with friends / family / followers, then send you the screenshots and say "pay me now or I will expose you", or

c) they will try to communicate to you through friends and family if they can't text you directly (after you blocked them / shut down your accounts). They do this to get you back to the "bargaining table" so that you keep on paying.

For the record, most sextortion cases I've handled start on Facebook as it's considered the gold standard (because most people use their first and last real names), as opposed to Instagram. Facebook makes it exceptionally easy for scammers to figure out who your family members are; as such, they are the #1 target. If you're trying to figure out what to do when being blackmailed on Facebook, I've written a step-by-step article that explains exactly what to do next.

Need help now? I've worked on over 1,000+ sextortion cases and know how to prevent your exposure and shut the blackmailers down. Contact me here for a free 15-minute phone call consultation - I'm happy to answer your questions. When you contact me, you will also receive two free reports that contain invaluable information: Five Strategies to Stall Blackmail Scammers and Not Pay Anything and Sextortion Survival Guide - Five Critical Mistakes to Avoid and What to Do Instead. These invaluable guides contain proven strategies to help you take control of the situation before it escalates.

6. Warning All My Contacts Will Protect Me

Quote: "I warned all my contacts not to open messages from strangers."

Misconception: Warning everyone = protection.

Reality: Telling everyone that your account got hacked and not to open messages from strangers (for example) is one of the most common sextortion-fighting tactics victims use, speaking from experience. Unfortunately, this tactic DOES NOT WORK; and worse yet, it can backfire horribly. Scammers anticipate this move - because most victims try it - but they've developed devious workarounds that can blindside you and leave you in utter shock with no option moving forward. This isn't said for shock value; I have screenshots from real cases that I share with clients showing this is EXACTLY what they do, how they do it, and how to stop it - and their methods are things you'd never see coming.

Want protection that works? Contact me now and I'll explain everything you need to know about this scam, and how to stop the worst of the worst from happening to you - including how to stop them from contacting friends and family through social media. My rates are the most reasonable on the Internet and I guarantee you won't be disappointed with what I have to say. A 15 minute phone call is provided at no obligation to you. Ask me whatever you want.

7. Reporting the Blackmailer Will Stop Them From Exposing Me

Quote: "Should I report the blackmailer to Instagram?"

Misconception: Reporting = scam shut down.

Reality: You might get the account banned, but scammers will just use one of their 50+ fake accounts they use on rotation to keep the money flowing. These are professional operations that cycle fake IDs, emails, and names constantly. The same thing goes for reporting the blackmailers on Instagram or Facebook. It won't do anything to stop them from reaching out and following through with their threats. If you're unsure what to do if someone is blackmailing you with photos, I explain the right way to handle that situation in detail so you don't make critical mistakes.

Want to end the nightmare now? Contact me here - I'll show you how to shut it down the right way.

How to Deal with Blackmail and Threats

If you've already paid and are now being harassed, you are stuck in a high-pressure game of psychological warfare. This is where most victims get trapped - by believing myths that feel logical in the moment but are completely false in practice.

Here's are some comments and recommendations based on your case:

Do Not Pay Again Under Any Circumstances

This is easier said than done and requires strategy and a deep understanding of scammers' tricks and traps they have set for you that force you to pay (I can help you to understand this based on 1,000+ cases I've worked on - contact me here if you want assistance).

The fact is, this scam is designed to keep escalating. The $200 and $300 payments are just the beginning; if you send more, the blackmailers will invent new reasons to demand additional funds (like their "boss" needing money). This is classic scammer behavior and happens 100% of the time. Be careful here - if you try to stall or delay them without a proper plan, they will eventually call your bluff and escalate. That's why I use proven strategies, like faking payments to buy time and regain control without provoking them.

As I've mentioned before, I use a fake payment strategy in cases where the blackmailers won't take "no" for an answer. In this case, you can attempt to pay them, but it will fail. Doing so will get the blackmailers to calm down with their threats - they are happy you tried even if you didn't actually pay them - while you work on your next move.

A word of warning: be careful here, because blackmailers will demand proof (screenshots) that the payment failed. If you can't provide it instantaneously, you will be in a world of hurt and will likely escalate things. If you don't know what you're doing and need the next steps, contact me - I'm here to help.

Not sure what to do next? Need help now? I've worked on over 1,000+ sextortion cases and know how to prevent your exposure and shut the blackmailers down. Contact me here for a free 15-minute phone call consultation - I'm happy to answer your questions. When you contact me, you will also receive two free reports that contain invaluable information: Five Strategies to Stall Blackmail Scammers and Not Pay Anything and Sextortion Survival Guide - Five Critical Mistakes to Avoid and What to Do Instead. These invaluable guides contain proven strategies to help you take control of the situation before it escalates.

Do Not Bother Trying to Get a Refund

Most scammers will have you send money in ways that can't be retracted. This applies to any money sent by wire, by gift card, by Remitly (similar to wire transfer), or by PayPal. In the latter case, they usually have you send the money using the 'friends and family' option, which means you won't be able to get it back despite any evidence you provide to PayPal.

Do Not Shut Down Your Social Media

This only signals that you're running away (and not willing to pay) and will accelerate threats of exposure. Believe me, they will be checking if you shut down your accounts.

Do Not Ignore the Blackmailers - Yet

While it's tempting to block all numbers and hide from the scammers, I argue that this often makes the situation far worse.

Once you become unreachable, many scammers escalate by contacting your friends and family directly. A better approach is to strategically keep communication open, string them along, and observe - allowing you to respond in a way that strips them of power. I can show you how to monitor their activity safely, maintain control, and prevent exposure without paying a cent. I've been using this proven plan successfully since 2019. If you need platform-specific guidance - such as how to deal with Snapchat blackmail - I've written a detailed guide that explains what works and what mistakes to avoid.

Don't wait for things to spiral out of control - contact me here and let's get this resolved ASAP. I offer the best rates and provide the best service, backed by our A+ rating on the BBB with ZERO complaints - EVER - in the 24 years I've been online.

Do Not Tell Your Contacts Your Account Got Hacked

Many victims think that warning friends and family ahead of time will soften the blow if the blackmailers follow through. In reality, premature warnings often backfire horrendously - I've seen it happen with countless clients. Scammers anticipate this move, and in many cases they can get around it using methods you'd never expect, which only blindsides victims further. On top of that, it creates unnecessary panic among people you care about. There's a much better way to handle this - I have a proven plan that works, and I can help you, too. Contact me here and let's talk about it.

Do Not Waste Time Reporting the Blackmailer

Whether you decide to report the blackmailers to Remitly (where you sent the funds), the IC3 (FBI), Instagram or Facebook, or the police - please know that it won't do anything to prevent your exposure. The fact is: once you make contact with a blackmailer, they instantly download all your contacts and store them locally.

If one account gets banned, they'll use another account to continue on with their torture and may even expose you on the spot for getting their account taken down. Furthermore, the police and FBI cannot take action against scammers operating overseas (and in 95% of cases I handle, that's exactly where they are). It's outside their jurisdiction, and any threats you make to the scammers will simply fall on deaf ears.

Simply put, the blackmailers do not care what they are doing is illegal. They already know the risks and also know that they are operating with practical impunity.

What to Do if You're Being Blackmailed

How to Stop a Blackmailer

The single biggest mistake victims make is reacting out of fear - paying too quickly, blocking too soon, or warning contacts prematurely with the wrong message. All of these moves give the scammers more power. The only way to truly shut this down and learn how to stop a blackmailer is to take proactive, informed steps that are based on experience and real-world results.

I've personally worked on over 1,000+ sextortion cases since 2019, and I can tell you with absolute certainty: when you follow a structured plan, you can deflect their tactics, reduce your risk of exposure, and make yourself a far less valuable target. This isn't theory - it's proven strategy that has helped over a thousand victims stop blackmailers without paying another cent.

Every blackmailer uses tricks, traps, and psychological manipulation designed to make you feel cornered. But once you understand how they operate, what to expect, you'll know exactly what to say and when to say it - and the power shifts back to you. That is what I provide: the right steps at the right time, so you stay in control and the blackmailers lose interest and move on to their next victim. They will always move on eventually - the key is to carefully manage the situation and ease their threats, because if you don't, you risk being exposed.

How to Handle Blackmail and Stop Sextortion Exposure

If you are being blackmailed online, you need a clear plan of action. Panic responses like paying or blocking will only make things worse. The safest way forward is to follow proven strategies that show you how to handle blackmail, prevent sextortion exposure, and stay in control of the situation. This is exactly what I help victims do every day.

Here are some of the key steps I provide when guiding victims through blackmail and sextortion cases:

• How to handle blackmail by stopping a blackmailer from contacting your friends, family, or employer through social media
   
• Real examples and screenshots from sextortion cases I have handled, showing exactly what scammers do - and how to counter them
   
• Safe ways to monitor blackmailer behavior without triggering escalation
   
• The correct steps to take before going silent (timing matters more than most people realize)
   
• What to say if someone you know has already been contacted by the scammer - and how to sweep it under the rug
   
• How to lock down your social media and accounts properly (most victims miss critical steps and inadvertently shut down their accounts, which actually makes things much worse)

Every case of blackmail is different, but with the right plan you can protect yourself, minimize your risk of exposure, and end the threats without paying another cent. If you need help with how to handle blackmail and want to know the safest way to respond, I can guide you step by step based on proven results from real cases. Contact me here - let's talk about it.

About the author: Dennis Faas is the CEO and owner of Infopackets.com. Since 2001, Dennis has dedicated his entire professional career helping others with technology-related issues with his unique style of writing in the form of questions-and-answers; click here to read all 2,000+ of Dennis' articles online this site. In 2014, Dennis shifted his focus to cyber crime mitigation, including technical support fraud and in 2019, online blackmail. Dennis has received many accolades during his tenure: click here to view Dennis' credentials online DennisFaas.com; click here to see Dennis' Bachelor's Degree in Computer Science (1999); click here to read an article written about Dennis by Alan Gardyne of Associate Programs (2003). And finally, click here to view a recommendation for Dennis' services from the University of Florida (dated 2006).